My Crazy World

Well my goodness, I feel like Dorothy in Oz where everything is a bit on the crazy side!  Life can be such a crazy ride.

Spent the weekend with my sister, she is doing great.  The doctor can no long feel the tumors and she is reacting positively to the chemo therapy, which she only has 2 more to go!!!  Her strength and grace are an inspiration to me.  What have I learned?  Don’t stress about the little stuff because when it all comes down to it that little stuff really doesn’t matter.

I am trying to take on a much more positive and grateful attitude – this is a life change.  I have some friends in California that are true inspirations to me.  No matter what is happening they see the positive and they turn a negative into a positive.  Something a lot of us “born and raised here” individuals don’t do.  Sadly, I think we become so busy with work and success that we forget to live and enjoy all that is around us.  My daily mantra:  ”Start the day with joy in your heart, embrace the day that God has given you and end the day with a grateful heart”.

I am letting go of the expectations I set for myself and am forward with new expectations:

• Enjoy life

How will I accomplish this?

• I will take at least one walk a day and notice the gifts nature has given me
• When I feel negative, take a long deep breath and release it
• I will stop caring about what others think of me
• I will not judge others

I’m sure other bullet points will be added but for now I think this is a great start!

How will you enjoy your day?

Victoria

My sister, who usually wears pink or red nail polishes recently wanted to change to a dark color similar to what I wear.  She has dark spots on her thumbnails due to the chemo treatments so she thought a darker color would be a nice change and would cover the spots.  So last week we went to the drug store and she bought Sally Hansens Xtreme Wear Nail Color in “Grey Area” – she now thinks it should be called “Scary Grey” or “Starling Grey” – guess she must have watched “Silence of the Lambs” recently!  NOT…

This color is very pretty, a kinda purple grey and not nearly as dark as my near black colors.  Not a scary color at all unless you have had a traumatic experience perhaps involving the Purple People Eater or maybe Barney (he scares me but that is another story).

I ask you is this color so scary?

Back to the story.  So, last week she polished her fingernails in the pretty grayish purple color and they looked really pretty – but, every time she looked at her fingers she thought they were someone else’s.  She liked them so she still had the polish on when I left.

I got back into town today and while we were driving she said she had to remove the scary color.  I looked at her naked nails and asked her why?  She said the color scared her so bad that she had to remove the color!!!!  Seriously, the color scared you?

Perhaps this should be included in my next script – “Attack of the Killer Nail Polish”.  To be fair, my Muppet glow-in-the dark t-shirt has made my heart stop a couple of times after waking up in the middle of the night to a large glowing Oscar.

What made you laugh today?

As you can tell, I’ve changed my website! Instead of copying everything over I’ve decided to start fresh.  I find myself on a new road and feel a fresh start to everything I take on is warranted.

I’m sitting here in my son’s little apartment, I use the couch at present – can’t you just imagine my excitement for the upcoming move into my own place 2nd weekend of June?  The trees are swaying with the wind, a storm must be coming.  At my last count there were 3 huge tree limbs scattered around the complex, they must have fallen due to the high winds of late.  I did miss the stormy weather Texas offers.  Dark and gloomy and then the next minute bright and sunny.  The same beautiful weather day in and day out is like a carousel ride – nice but not very exciting.

I’ve changed the blues and greens of the ocean to the greens and browns of Texas.  I still can’t believe I’ve made the move back here.  After the extreme stress of my job in Los Angeles and missing my son Michael, who returned to Texas mid 2010, I decided that I wanted to return to Texas’s slower pace and friendlier people.  Shortly after making my decision to move I found out my sister has Triple Negative Breast Cancer – this made my move a “no brainer”.  I still miss the ocean immensely but being closer to my sister is very important right now so I know I’ve made the right decision.  Of course I need to remind myself of this when the hot humid days are making me wish for a carousel ride.

I hit a “milestone” birthday this year!!!    The funny thing is I don’t even feel my chronological age.  Thankfully I don’t look it.  As with most big events in my life, it passed quickly and with drama that didn’t focus on my event.  What do I mean? Well usually someone or something usually steals the spotlight and this event was no different.  Do I care?  Not particularly since I don’t feel the need for the spotlight – the bright light just emphasizes your flaws – I prefer to be seen in a soft light.

Another big change is that I’ve become an “empty nester”.  My son has taken his road to independence, which leaves me both happy and sad.  I am so happy for him and ready for him not to need me so much.  One of my favorite quotes is; “The greatest gift we can give our children is independence”.  This being said… I miss the little boy, the laughter and the fun we used to have.  I especially missed him in Los Angeles since I had to see his empty room day in and day out.  I feel claustrophobic with him right now since his couch is my bed 3 or 4 days a week.  As of late our relationship is feeling strained,  I hope for this to ease once I am in my own apartment.  We are both taking that road to independence.

My own apartment!!!  What a wonderfully empowering sentence that is.  I went from living with my parents, to living with my boyfriend and his mother, to living with him as my husband, to living with my son, to temporarily living with my now boyfriend (ick, I hate that phrase).  Now it will just be me and my little Shih Tzu – Sophie Rose.  Am I excited?  Absolutely!!!

So what will this site be about?  Growing older, adapting to change, inspirational thoughts.  A place where we can congratulate each other about the exciting happy changes in our lives and support each other through the sadder changes life throws at us.

Quote for this blog:

I look forward to taking on the day and living it as fully as possible.  I plan on taking 15 minutes of just breathing and enjoying the sounds and smells nature offers.  I will take joy in the things that make me laugh and will learn to let go of the sadness in my heart.  I hope you will too.

Victoria